Good For Business

Good for Business

by Carl Chew

Who was that?

Just someone from work.

You looked worried. I just wondered.

Oh, everything’s alright. I guess. Just someone apologizing to me for something they said.

Someone at work said something to you they had to apologize for?

Yeah.

Sounds a little out of the ordinary.

It’s not that strange, really. It’s over.

Okay. Oh. Did I tell you Mark called? He’s really hyped up over some candidate in his district. Some guy who really walks the talk.

What are his chances? Of getting elected, I mean?

Marko seems to think they’re good, but he’s backed so many losers I wouldn’t want to put my money on it.

What are his politics?

Knowing Mark he’s gotta be pretty out there. Marko says he’s really down on the war, and way down on the president, and way, way, way up on the environment. That’s how he put it. Says he doesn’t put up with any double talk or think. I dunno what that means really. Guess the guy doesn’t pull any punches.

So how does Mark get along with him so well?

Very funny!

Well, it’s true. You know Mark better than I do. It’s true, right?

There’s the phone again. Want me to get it?

No, I’ll take it. Probably someone else from work.

Hey this is Jenna. Are you still at work Allan?

Well, I know that, but it’s no big deal.

Well, why is it so important to everyone? I mean, it was just my opinion. I didn’t make it personal.

She did?

Look Allan, this doesn’t make all that much sense to me. Can’t I say what I’m thinking with out everyone freakin’ out? Did you forget, we’re all grown-ups now? Let’s act like it, okay?

Oh, really! Really!

No, I am not getting upset.

Look, if it is such a big deal, I’ll come in first thing in the morning and we can talk about it again.

Anyone who wants to. We’ll all go have coffee at Dickie’s or something. Okay?

Yeah. See you too.

Let me guess: Allan calling from work to apologize?

Not really.

Not really?

I’m not sure I want to talk about it. I didn’t think it was that big a deal, but looks like everyone else does.

Well, what’d you say or do? I mean, you’re Ms. Diplomat. You don’t say things to ruffle people up. Do you?

Looks like I did, doesn’t it? At least today anyway. Oh shit. I can’t believe this. Can you believe this?

At the moment I don’t know what to believe. Well of course I believe you, but you haven’t told me much. I don’t have a lot to go on. Besides, I couldn’t hear Allan.

Not again. Will you get it, please?

Hello.

Yes, but she can’t come to the phone right now, I mean she’s gone out.

Uh huh.

Okay I’ll tell her.

Right.

You didn’t have to lie.

It wasn’t a big lie. I just wanted you to be comfortable.

I’m not comfortable when people lie for me.

Well, you could have answered it. It was Irene and she says that everyone will meet with you in the morning at 8. She said Dickie’s is okay.

That’s good. I still can’t believe this. How long have we been friends and working together? How much have we gone through? Never anything like this.

Sounds serious. I thought you said it wasn’t really anything?

Well, that’s what I thought, really. I mean, I guess I had an extreme opinion about the war or something.

What’d you say?

You know, we were having this big meeting. More like a celebration because the festival went so god-awful well this year.

Because you made a profit for the first time in living memory?

Well, that was partly it, but everyone was still so high on the energy. Marcie went on and on about how we finally got it all together. That it will be smooth sailing from now on because people finally got our message—which this year was break the machine, screw the war, and off with the president’s head.

Every act that we signed came on with the same message. I know Marcie would like to think that it was some great plan she or we concocted, but come on, half of the acts were the same people we have had for years. Just that this year there is this fucking war and no one likes it, so everyone was pretty vocal about putting an end to it.

Allan was right in there. The publicity was great. The media was great. The broadsides were great. The phone polls were great. Okay Alan, you did a good job, but I didn’t get the impression that you did anything different this year, so what gives?

Everyone went on and on, patting each other on the back, sugar and spice. They wanted to lay it on me too. Philip drooled about how I finally got the food scene together. How good everything was. Duh Philip, you mean it was bad before? How the emails keep pouring in about the quality and tastiness and wholesomeness. Philip please, it was the same 25 venders we have had each year, with the exception of Kodiak Cookies who went out of business.

So, what did you say? You, not someone else.

Well, I said thank you to Philip, and thanks a lot to Marcie, and everyone else too.

Good. But what did you say? You did say something, right?

Yes! I’m getting to it, okay? When it was my turn I said I thought it was a shame that war was so good for business. That quieted things down several notches. Everybody was just staring at me. I said, hey, you think this was all because we did such a snappy job? That we are all such marketing geniuses? Well, if that’s true why haven’t we done something other than pathetically float around belly up for the last twenty years, huh? Marcie gave me her sweet smile and said, whatever are you talking about Jenna? I said, it’s all just the war. Don’t you get it? We made a profit because there is a war on and war is good for business. It obviously doesn’t matter who you are. War makes people pissy or giddy. The giddy people get patriotic with their wallets, along with the government of course, and the pissed off people get just as giddy with their wallets too, but in the opposite direction. War is good for business, their business, our business, everyone’s business.

That was when Allen said, and I quote, Jenna you are so full of shit. Ha, ha. This is a joke right?

I said it was no joke. I said that I didn’t mean anything by it either, that it was just something I was thinking about. Just some ideas I had. Nothing more. But Marcie didn’t want to let go. So is what you are saying is that we are just as bad as the machine and the fucking patriotic front? Is that what you are saying Jenna? No Marcie, that is not what I am saying. We are nothing close to them. But what about the idea that during this bloody stupid war, during all this ripping at each other’s throats that the country is doing, that during this time of doing whatever our country damn well pleases any place in the world, that during this time we just happen by the grace of God to make a profit, and not just a profit, but a whopping profit for God’s sake?

Well, that was all.

Sounds more like a lot.

Oh, not you too?

No, not me too. But I can see how those wonderful committed folks you work with, your soul mates, might be a teeny bit upset.

I wish I hadn’t said anything. No, that’s not true. I wish people would just let me have my opinions without thinking the sky is falling. Jesus.

Don’t get religion on me now. What do you think is going to happen? They ever fired anyone? Demerits? Demotion?

Oh come on, it’s not funny. At least I don’t feel funny. I don’t know what is going to happen. What, the war goes on for fifty years and our profit grows and doubles and triples each year until in 2055 when the war is over and we go bankrupt? I don’t know. I’ll find out tomorrow morning. Everything’ll be okay. I guess.